Hey y'all. So this is my 2nd video I'm uploading for all of you to see. This one is very special to me. I made this a while back. It's a Smallville video...and as you all know, that is my first priority lol :)

Anyway, in order for you to watch my video...you have to watch the original music video by Maroon 5 first. The reason is because I tried to do it exactly the same. I hope you enjoy and please leave feedback. :)

Song: Wake Up Call
Artist: Maroon 5
Show: Smallville

MAROON 5 VERSION



MY VERSION


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enjoy~

~A

So I've always been the type of person that believes that friends are family, and that we'd do anything for eachother, well at least...that's how I feel. Not a lot of people know this, actually, probably only 2 people in my life know this, and after this post, whomever reads it will too.

I'm afraid of being alone. I've always had this fear that everyone that I love will either abandon me, or perish. I know it's definitely not something I should be thinking of, especially at my age, but that doesn't change the fact that I still think it. I love my friends to death. Nothing could or will ever change that. Anyone who's anyone knows that I don't give up on people that easily, if ever. You're my friend from the beginning and someone would have to do something pretty drastic and life altering in order for me to give up on them.

I've had plenty of arguments, few fights, and many confrontations that ended up separating friends and I for a brief period of time, but in the end, I was always right back to the way things were, even if said friend/s thought I wouldn't "take them back."

But back to the alone part...I don't know, I've just always had the feeling. A lot of people think it's just me being melodramatic because I love superman and he's the tortured soul that risks his life for people everyday because in the end, he has no one since he can live forever. I guess in a way, I DO relate to him in the sense that I always try to help people. Day in and day out.

Friends have called me selfless, teachers have called me a martyr...and as for myself? I just call myself Amber and continue to do what I do in how I help people. Seeing my friends and family happy, is fine for me. That's all I need.

In my senior psychology class last year, our teacher asked us each the same question: "If you could have one super power, what would it be and why?" So you know...there are the typical - Super strength, super speed, telepathy, x-ray vision...normal super hero stuff lol... - anyway, it got to me, and I answer, "The ability to heal people because there are too many in the world who get ones they love taken away for no reason." After I answered, everyone just stared at me like a deer caught in headlights.

Anyway, I don't know, I'm just that type of person who likes to see the good in people, even though I doubt myself like crazy. People who know of me, know I don't open up to people often, if ever. And the ones who KNOW me, know that I don't open up for reasons of my own. I don't let people in because it's easier. Easier in that I don't get hurt, and easier that I don't hurt someone by disappointing them. Ones who I have let in...well they're lucky and got past me at a vulnerable point in which my walls weren't completely stable. That's just the way that I am. I know I put off a "bad-ass, take no crap" attitude sometimes, but it's not me. Well, I mean it IS me to an extent, and then again its not.

I wanted to go out of state for college. Why? Because I wanted to get out and experience the real world. Most of my friends went away to college, and that feeling of being alone just intensified. For the longest time, I felt more vulnerable and alone than I ever had, but in the past month or so, I've started feeling myself shy away from that. In the beginning of my starting college, I felt that I shouldn't leave the state because of my friends and family, but recently, I've started feeling that I need to go.

Explore.

Live.

I know what I want. I'm just not sure how to get it yet. Another one of life's obstacles to accomplish.

~A

Just wanted to say thanks to all of you that cared yesterday and read my blog...and even if you didn't, you still cared by asking me what was wrong. It truly means a lot.

I had a lot on my plate, some of you knew since I talked to you privately about it, but I'm glad some of it got settled, because that means it's just gonna get better.

A lot of my friends left for college, as I'm sure has happened with many of you, so you all are my lifelines right now. No joke.

And then, after reading Raquel's and Becca's blogs, that really shows how much we are all family. That this one company can bring sooo many together in such little time.

To follow Raq's post, I'm happy to add my fellow friend on here that has helped me through a lot. And that is Kim...otherwise known as Shades :)

She's gonna hate me for complimenting her lol, but I just wanna say that I'm so glad she's helped me, and listened to my crap lots of the time when there's no one else. Especially the other day this week...which I was freaking out. She took initiative and told me it would all be okay.

Plus, I'm so proud of her and the screenplay. I know she worked hard at it and was very skeptical of it at first. She put herself out there, and that's really all you can do at a time like this. She's gonna do great :)

It's funny really, family can tell you something's going to be "ok" all they want, and we wont necessarily listen to them...but as soon as a close friend or confidante tells us things will be ok...we accept it more quickly.

Still puzzles me to this day, but I'm glad I have Kim AND the rest of you.

~A

I don't even know what to call this or what to write. My minds just kind of like "blah"

It's crazy to think that I've been fine lately, but I don't know, I just woke up today and felt this way lol. I'm sure its nothing, and I'll be find...ugh I don't even know.

It's kind of hard to explain and hard to process myself. Confusion, regret, frustration, anger, sympathy, selfless, sad, mad...and then at some point, there's nothing.

I don't even know what's going on in my head right now. It's all to overwhelming and just...

I seriously need to go somewhere lol...with friends or alone. Doesn't matter

I usually dont ramble like this, but I had to get it out.

Honestly, I never open up to anyone. It's easier to put up walls so you don't get hurt, and so people don't disappoint you. Lately my walls have gone down just a tad with a few people, and moreso with someone who I'd never even known before this SoGoProtastic idea came to reality

So frustrating when all I do is ramble on and on about nothing important to all of you guys lol.

Im currently listening to "Time is Running Out" by Muse and "Already Gone" by Crossfade. So I don't know what those songs are supposed to mean. Like Kim said in her vlog last night, music is a big part of her life, and it's the same for me. Always has been. I listen to a lot of music and there are always some songs that stick with you forever, or remind you of something or someone, and it's always going to be that way. Don't ask me why lol because I don't know the answer, but it's gonna be like that. We can't change what we like, or who we like, or what happens if we don't like it, or if it's unexpected, but we need to learn to embrace it with open arms, because you never know when it's going to come back or even IF it will come back.

Don't take things for granted.

Don't take yourself for granted.

Just be you.

That's always best.


~ A